Monday, November 1, 2010

Nervousness and Being a Cat

In my last blog post, I had mentioned that when I get nervous I breeze right through things... it really is true. I tend to rush through those things that make me feel uncomfortable, much like a cat will dart from an area when made to feel in danger. I really need to learn to stop doing that. I think that it has cost me a lot of opportunities in life, one of which being a carousel ride at the House on the Rock.

Somehow I have to learn to take a deep breath and take my time. Speak slower. When I was in a Speech class, one of the notes on it was "A little less caffeinated next time" which was funny because I hadn't been caffeinated. I feel like my bubbly personality just bubbles over sometimes and I find myself cutting people off mid-sentence or just rushing straight through due to nerves. I am not sure how I can work on it, but I intend to.

Next year come auditions at Ren Faire again, and I already have them in mind, I would like to be able to shake these kinds of nerves in order to perform better, to impress, and to get the part that I want. I have so many friends who work in entertainment, and I should pick their brains to find out how to battle these butterflies.

The one and only time I have been able to push straight through was at a singing competition. I knew I was up against stiff competition; some of the people were my friends that I was trying to beat, and I knew they were good. Even though I was nervous, I sang like I needed the money because, well, I did. Maybe I need to try and keep that forefront in my mind. Not my want for a thing, but my need for it. While it is a little harder to try and imagine my need for a part, I have to learn to think this way. I know I am a good performer, I just have to remember that and go with it.

On another note, it is both National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) and National Novel Writing Month (NanoWriMo). I am going to try and keep a dedication to both this blog and a novel. This means that I will have to push through any writer's block that I might have and just do it. I can't promise that everything that comes out will be solid gold, but I would at least like to make it something worth reading. I may even poll my friends on subjects to write about, and I already have an idea for a novel (or at least a collection of short stories) that I would like to write about, and this weekend gave me a bunch of ideas to go with. Just like my nerves with performance, I am going to have to battle my nerves with my writing.

I constantly doubt myself (thanks to people like Neil) in that I don't know if my writing is worth reading. I just have to remember that I am not Neil Gaiman. I am not Terry Goodkind. I am not one of the greats. Yet.


  1. darling you are the most amazing, smart, witty, funny, confident, charismatic, rough, brilliant, and daring person that i know short of sara. I wish i had your guys ability to say "to hell with you i dont care what you think about me" and the way that you are able to talk to people and feel comfortable around people that you just meet. I envy you sooooo much that its a little sad :) so just keep that in mind sweet heart.

    KRIX your not so secret admierer

  2. I heart you Krix. I heart you so much. Like I said this weekend, you hang with me and you'll grow a pair. :D

  3. You cannot be one of the greats until you are one of the . . . newly published? Whatever. When you do write something, I hope it is soon and you let me test how good my fixed up eye works by proofing it for you.

  4. What I need to do is just suck it up and get it done. This book will haunt my sleep until I do. I am so into the Cherry world that I need to finish it, sigh of relief, publish.

  5. Nice post. Keep up your confidence, Naomi, you know you have talent. (This is Resa, by the way.)

  6. Oh hey Resa! I'm gonna follow your blog now. You should link to Networked Blogs on Facebook. :)