Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Yule Tidings!

This year, for the first time in several centuries, there is a full lunar eclipse on the Winter Solstice. I plan to do some very simple meditation tonight, and in the spirit of the season, I plan to start fresh.

The last year has been filled with many ups and downs, the downs sometimes outweighing the ups, but my family has managed to pull through them all. Oddly, every time something bad has happened something good has tried to counter it. Though it's getting harder and harder for the little good things to outweigh the huge bad things, I have to be thankful that the world seems to be trying.

I am trying to remain positive, and to feel the power of things moving toward a newness... a freshness for the coming year that we could really use. I know that thinking that the energies will bring good to us sounds wishy-washy, but it seems like something good is in the air tonight. I keep talking about how the snow seems to blanket everything with freshness, sort of starting everything over with a clean slate. Somehow, though I wanted badly to see this eclipse, the gift of snow falling in the air on this new season's eve seemed appropriate.

We're going to start fresh and we're going to be okay. There's good things on the air for us, and we're going to go out and grab them up for ourselves. Through hard work, perseverance, and the spirit within us, we are going to make it out of this alright.

For those of my friends celebrating Yule; good tidings to you, and blessed be! May you all sleep in peace tonight and may the God and Goddess smile upon you. Much love.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Things Forgotten and Karaoke

After all that I wrote yesterday, I totally forgot what I was going to say at the end, which was that I met up with the photographer from the photoshoot I did (Al) at the Denny's and had lunch. We needed to get some model release forms signed and as a gift, he gave me five BEAUTIFUL framed prints of some of my favorite pictures from the shoot. It was a wonderful gift, even if my daughter made off with one of them and put it in her room.

Since I have been having an excess amount of pain lately, I decided to show my body who is boss and go out for the night. I am going to hang out with friends, go to karaoke (which is one of my favorite past times) and have a good time, come hell or high water. I may do some writing and blogging on Cherry Blossoms later in the evening when I get home, but for now I am going to get ready, go out, and have a blast.

I hope you are all having a great night. :)

Friday, December 17, 2010

It's really days like these that I don't have any kind of appreciation for being a woman... I am in all sorts of pain, when I thought I had done a good job of keeping it under control. So much for that plan, and now it takes twice the normal dose just to get it back to a tolerable amount. Thankfully I now have insurance for the first time in four years, so I am able to see if there's something I can do to either manage it better or to eliminate it altogether.

I have been told that people missed the blog, so I decided that I am going to try and keep it updated like I was so that I can keep people up to speed about what is going on with me. I am thinking about opening up a separate blog just about my writing and what I am getting accomplished, but I think that will mainly be a quick update on what I have written so far, what has developed, how much I have gotten done, etc. I will most likely link to it from here for anyone interested in reading it, and keeping up with what I have so far. More than likely I will title it something to do with the novel I am working on. If there are other novels in progress, who knows, I may start one up for them as well. Just a thought, and something that has been on my mind to start for some time.

I suppose I should try and catch people up on the last eleven days since I wrote something here, because frankly a lot happened in that short amount of time and I don't really know how much longer the pain will be tolerable enough for me to get this done, so I will try and make it as brief as I possibly can.

My cousin Ariana showed up on the 8th and helped me to celebrate my birthday party. It was lovely to get to know her once again, and I was most shocked by how alike our personalities are. Though I usually find it hard to get along with most women (family or no) I took a liking to her immediately and knew from the moment we hugged hello that we would be having a good time together. We stayed up late into every night that she was here talking about everything from life in general to genre writing to our childhoods to what it was like growing up like we did. I am very proud of the woman she has become despite a lot of the crap she had to put up with as a child, and even into adulthood. Not to say that it is my job to be proud of her or anything, that sounds a bit condescending, but I guess I am trying to say that it's nice to see that kind of bravery and maturity and spirit coming out of someone I am related to. Sometimes I have so many family problems that I just want to give up on the whole lot of them, but she is one that I would have to say that I am glad that I am related to. We have a plan for the future, should everything in life go awry including a plot for murder and a name change. The murder would be more like a murder of essence, but the name change would probably be real. At any rate, I was glad to welcome her into my small and crappy home, and she made me feel like someone she was glad to be related to too.

The birthday party was full of awesome and friends from all over the country were able to make it. I was overwhelmed by the fact that so many people care so much about me, and that all the happiness they bring me they can feel as well. I had toasted to friends missing, because there was no hard feelings for friends who couldn't show... they were there with me in spirit. There was a bit of drama toward the end of the night, but I have put it behind me so I am not going to go into detail about it, but I didn't let it tarnish what was a very special night for me.

I have been able to see my BFF from California, as she came for my birthday party and is staying in Wisconsin until the end of the month. It has been almost like she never went away, and I missed her terribly. I am sure there will be even more crying before she has to go back home. Hopefully it's not a long time before she visits again. It's also nice to see her daughter getting so big, she is one of my favorite little girls. She and Cyrah are about the same size even though there's three years difference in their ages. It doesn't help that her mother and I are at two opposite ends of the height spectrum, so I am sure that the size difference for them will remain a theme as they age. I love my third little girl, and will love my wee little boy when he arrives next year. :)

Lately I have been trying to do as many creative things as I possibly can. Because winter forces me indoors (I hate being cold, though I do like to look at snow), I like to try and do little busy-work things to keep myself occupied. Dustin learned to crochet from the internet and then taught me. I had already known how to knit and had forever convinced myself that it was easier than crocheting... boy was I wrong... Once I got the hang of it, I worked nonstop on a scarf for my youngest daughter which I managed to finish with about ten hours of labor. All things considered, I finished it in less than half the time it would have taken me to knit a scarf of the same size.

I also worked on and finished some gifts for the white elephant gift exchange for the holiday party I planned. The kicker? It's a ZOMBIE themed party. Yes. Zombies. Anyone who knows me well enough knows my total and irrational fear of Zombiepocalypse. I fear this event more than anything in the world even though it is probably one of the most ridiculous fears a person can have. Back to the point though for people who have NO CLUE as to what a white elephant gift is, it's when you bring something for a gift that you either think is funny, something you want to regift, or just whatever kind of crap you feel like getting rid of. Usually some game is played where gifts are passed around until you end up with a gift you didn't bring and you get to unwrap it. The point here is to try and spend as little as you possibly can on it, because others could potentially bring something really crappy, also this year it has to be zombie themed. Why am I doing this to myself? I have no really logical explanation for it, except that one of my birthday gifts was from my friend Alice (Assistant Director of the Bristol Buskin Frolic) and it was her own puppet show called, "Night of the Living Dead Puppets"  that inspired the theme for the party this year, which will include a viewing of said movie. I am pretty darned excited for it, all things considered. Though I don't want to give away what my gift is just yet, I will take pictures of what I made and post them after the party because I am really proud of what I did. Because we are so broke, I spent as little as I could get away with spending and came up with something pretty damned special. I had a gift card for Walmart that I used for supplies, and I think I spent ten bucks altogether. For what I ended up with, ten bucks was a steal. Also, because I was able to produce so many of said gift, everyone will get at least one, with the person who gets my white elephant gift getting the bulk of them. I can't wait until I can show you all pictures. I might even sneak some on here on Christmas Day, just before the party. I don't think anyone who plans to attend reads this blog, except maybe Krix...

Aside from that I have spent the last few days in edit for the novel I am working on. I got a few hundred words written out last night, but pain pretty much laid me out for the night.

As of right now, I am planning to get into a hot (possibly scalding) bath and steep my pain away. I like to sit in the tub and set my laptop up so I can watch some sort of program while bathing. I know that sounds weird, but what the hey... that's me.  Good night all, and I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Clean Misery

I'm not going to lie, I am exhausted. I have been giving my house a total makeover (much needed, of course) but right at the moment I am just too tired to move much more than my fingers. I am thankful for that much at least, so that I can actually post something. I took my laptop along to the future-in-law's place so that I could post but their love for making me miserably cold put a damper on that.

Dustin and I were charged to care for their dogs overnight and, being nice house guests, decided not to mess with the heat settings. This led to one of the coldest evenings I have spent indoors in quite some time; frozen feet, sore fingers, and all around misery. I just hope that when we go over there for their Christmas celebrations they turn the heat up some. I took a scalding bath and got right under a blanket to allow my body to stay warm for the sleep over.

All this cleaning, while extremely tiring, has been really therapeutic. After living in all the clutter for so long, I guess my mind and spirit felt a little cluttered as well. The cobwebs that had been neglected for so long are similar to the cobwebs in my mind. I suppose it was stagnation, and there's nothing that I hate more. Not only do I feel comfortable having someone come over and hang out in my now clean house, but I am actually looking forward to it. I have probably done some things that are extremely Obsessive-Compulsive, but... meh. Sometimes that's necessary.

On a completely unrelated but very upsetting note, I am pretty sure my little one has pink eye. Anyone who has had to put drops in a child's eyes, or in their own if they are squeamish about it, know what I am about to go through. While I feel bad for myself, I feel almost worse for her. There's nothing that seems more unnatural than putting a foreign substance on the eyeball, and for a little one that can seem devastating. I am just hoping that she handles it better than I picture in my mind because I have full-on screaming as her answer to these torturous drops. This is the child who, when she has a splinter, acts as though someone told her she was never going to get birthday cake ever again and when she gets the tiniest cut and bleeds even the most minuscule amount you would swear needs a tourniquet and a Valium. I am hoping the remedy for this is just going to be warm compresses otherwise I'll be needing the Valium.

I think that's all for now, but perhaps later tonight I'll have something astoundingly astounding to say... who knows. It happens. Much love, all.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Cleaning, Gay Marriage and Snow

I keep being asked to continue my blog so I guess I will do that. It has been kind of therapeutic to get the thoughts circling around in my head out of there every day. Plus, keeping a type of journal is good practice for just making sure I am writing something.

The day after my birthday I came down with some sort of mini-sickness, but again, this was just a 24 hour bug, which I am thankful for. Pretty much consisted of a sore throat, cough, and runny nose. I laid around most of the day feeling crappy when at about 2 p.m. my daughter comes into the bedroom, smacks me awake (in the face, no less) and tells me that my momma cat is having kittens. Cute little things they are, too. Three boys and three girls, and all different from one another, if subtly. I have been spending the last few days making sure momma and babies are all well, as well as cleaning the house.

While cleaning my little one's room, I came to the realization that she has more teeny tiny toys than a little girl should have. Every kind of quarter machine toy she has saved over the last couple of years (most of which are tony little ninjas and aliens of every possible color, totaling about twenty or thirty), Littlest Pet Shop toys (which are little plastic animals with bobble-type heads), Squinkies (little rubbery animals and people that would fit into a little gumball), and tiny little Tinkerbell toys and clothes. It got to the point where I had to separate one tiny thing from another and decide which needed to go where... my OCD was going nuts last night. I ended up spending at least two hours just putting the toys into their own places and realized that I could use some more bins to put various toys into.

The house is definitely getting into shape for my cousin's visit, and I am going a little overboard, but whatever. I know it's not Spring or anything, but Winter forces me indoors, so I might as well make the most of it. I think sometime next week, I'll have some sort of a Yule tree, which I am totally thrilled about. I think my tree is the best ever because I have fairy ornaments that I put on it. My tree topper (named by Hallmark "Queen Aurora", which is certainly not lost on my daughter) is, instead of an angel or a star, a beautiful wand-wielding good fairy covered in glitter. My tree is coordinated in blue, silver, and pearl and I would say it's the prettiest tree ever. Though the tree will not be a real one for the first time in many years, I am happy just to have one. I'll make sure to post pictures of my tree when it gets up and decorated.

On a completely unrelated note, I was happy to hear that things are moving along nicely in Illinois for gay marriage. What I think that politicians don't understand is that gay marriage would really be an economy booster. Not only would it boost the amount of business at florists, possibly dress shops, tux shops, caterers, etc., it would also get more people to move into that state simply because they have gay marriage there. Not to be a downer or anything, but with the divorce rate at fifty percent, it would bring more money into the system as well. I think that all in all it makes sense not only because it's FAIR, but because it would get things moving in the economy there. i just wish that Wisconsin, which I used to think a very progressive state, would hop on the band wagon for human rights and equality. I congratulate you on your progress thus far, Illinois. Cheers to fairness.

Also, SNOW!!!! It is so beautiful outside right now, even if it is cold. I love looking out the window and see the white stuff coming down. Hearing people drive by, it has been making that squeaky sigh that I love so much. Every time I hear it I wanna go walk around in it. I just wish it would have A: come a day sooner than it did, and B: snowed more than it did. Even if I was just glad to see it at all.

I have much more cleaning to get done, even tonight, because I have company coming in the morning. I was pretty lazy today because of how late I stayed up last night, so I had better get to it. I hope you are all safe and warm somewhere. Much love.