Sunday, November 28, 2010

Fear and the Voice Within

After writing about four thousand words into the wee hours of this morning, I found myself at a complete impasse in my novel. The hard part is that no one has really read the book in its entirety so far, or if they have they aren't very forthcoming with constructive criticism, so I can ask for help all that I want but no one really has any clue exactly what I am trying to get accomplished here. When Dustin returned from his usual Sunday workout, I was able to get a little more out of him because he knows where the story has been thus far and where it is headed.

My goal at this point is to continue on like I am, though I have totally broken away from the first set of main characters, then figure out what to do with the bit of story I am wrestling in. The fact is that the bit I am wrestling with is vital, so there's no way to just throw it out.

I am going to go with the thought that anything worth attaining is not done so easily, and mark it as a complete and utter labor of love. I know that this is going to work out in the end. I know that my creative mind will work past this dilemma.

For the longest time I found myself at a total block in the story because I feared that I was just not good enough to write this story yet, and that was probably true. I have to be in the right mindset for this book and trying to just get whatever dribble out on the page that I can serves no purpose in the end except for one huge editing nightmare for me. I would much rather set the story aside and come back to it when the feeling comes... like the last few days for example. Yes, it's going slower than I really wanted it to, but I think that that could be a sign that this one will be the one that grows into something great. Right now, the voices of the cast of characters from this book is screaming within me. And I like that.

A friend told me that "Sherman Alexie said writer's block is fear." Just like my friend, I am going to take this to heart. I can't remember a time in my life when I was afraid of anything, and now would be a really poor time to start. Unless we're talking about heights, and even that I am learning to conquer. Here's to a productive evening of writing once again, and to you my friends. Much love.

1 comment:

  1. You know you have a for real editor in the family, right? :-P I edit for Dark Roast Press and a few scholarly journals.