BLEH!!

So sorry that I haven't been posting. Starting with a really nasty flu and followed up with the thing that comes at the end of a sentence is just cruel... I haven't been able to get a lot done, which is irritating. I hate just having to lay around and rest when there about a million and a half things that need done, or that I would like to be doing instead of not feeling well.

I feel like I owe half a novel to the blog now that I have missed several days, but the truth is, I can't help being sick so I just have to get over the fact that I missed out. I broke the rules of the NaBloPoMo, but no one was really paying attention anyways so I suppose I am not totally upset by this fact.

Had an early Turkey Day celebration on Sunday with the future in-laws, which is always a tasty time. I ate what my belly could handle, which wasn't much in comparison to what I would have liked to have eaten so at least I don't feel like I need to go out and exercise to make up for the calories. I got to hang out at one of my favorite places and with some of my favorite people, even if I was feeling under the weather the whole time. They have two dogs; a HUGE German Shepard and a tiny Boxer (well... tiny in comparison to the giant German Shepard) that I love spending time with because they are like two little boys. I can be rough and tumble with them and they don't seem to mind. Spending time with them reminds me of the things I have to be thankful for, even if money is tight (like, choking-type) right now.


This year, for the first time in many, I am going to my mother's house on Thanksgiving Day proper. I am not really sure how I feel about it. I must sound like some ungrateful bitch, talking about how I am not sure I am happy to spend my Thanksgiving with my family, but if people understood the dichotomy with my mother and I, they might not feel that way. I have spent a good deal of my life listening to my mother complain about this or that ailment, or how bad money is, or how depressed she is, or how much my little brother is hard to live with. Granted, she should be able to vent about these things to her kids sometimes, I would much prefer it wasn't an every day occurrence. Because I have so much of my own emotional baggage right now, it is really hard for me to try and pile hers on too. When I tell her that I just can't help her (even by listening) with her problems, she takes as as calloused and treats me like a hard-hearted asshole. I am just not looking forward to that kind of stress for the holiday.

My brother and sister-in-law announced that they are expecting a baby. I am pretty thrilled for them since they have been trying for quite some time now. It will be nice to have some more rugrats running around.

Aurora continues to build a relationship with Dustin. She brought home a short story that she wrote at school that she dedicated to him about Fall. I am just floored with this new development. I think that, spiritually, it couldn't have come at a better time for me. It lowers the in-home stress, and helps to ease my mind about my future. The only downside is that now they take sides against me, which is irritating in its own way.

I have a show with my friend Chris coming up in a couple of days, and I plan to be completely well by the time this occurs. I am singing a few songs with him, and I think it will do me good to get out of the house and see some friends. Last year when we went to his show, it snowed. I think that that would really make me happy right now. There's something clean and new about snow... a fresh start could be the answer to a lot of problems right now.

Maybe tomorrow I'll write about what I am thankful for, but for tonight I think I will work on some more short stories and see what comes of them. Just getting the bones of them down makes me feel better. I hope you are all warm and safe somewhere. My love to you all.