Thursday, November 25, 2010

Music, Poetry, and Thankfulness

Tonight at the show was a very good time. I sang "Come to My Window" by Melissa Etheridge, "What's Up" by 4 Non Blonds, and "Me and Bobby McGee" the Janis version of the song. Everyone seemed to enjoy my singing and at least I didn't get booed or anything. Though I don't really see that happening... I never did get my little bit of snow, but in an effort to please me, the sky drizzled a little. That ended up being far more annoying than if it would have just done nothing, but hey... can't be so choosy I guess.

I tried making the foodnetwork.com recipe for butterbeer that I had, and all in all I thought it was good, but far too sweet. I think that it would have been much better with milk (or almond milk for those that are lactose intolerant) added to remove some of that overly sweet flavor, which I ended up trying and it worked out well. It tasted great with just a teeny bit of brandy for a kick and I think that I would like to add cinnamon next time. As long as I tweak it some, it'll be great and I will post a new recipe for it once I figure out exactly what it needs.

It is officially Turkey Day, which means two things; One: I am late for my blog posting... again. Two: I should probably go through all the things I am thankful for because it is good to take stock of them once in a while.

I am thankful for my family, as crazy as they make me sometimes. I am most thankful for my children who will ensure that I will live on through my blood, granted that they have children of their own one day. I am thankful for Dustin who, even in times of stress, manages to stay strong for both of us. I am thankful that my brother and sister-in-law are finally one step closer to the baby that they so desperately want. I am thankful that my oldest brother is also able to connect with his son that he hasn't spoken to in many years, and that his son told him that he loves him.

I am thankful for my friends. Were it not for them, not only would I have no sanity at all, I would not have Christmas for my kids. I am thankful for the words of encouragement. I am thankful for the little pictures or notes they post on my Facebook wall. For the emails they send with well wishes for this or that thing. For the pictures they take of me that make me see the beauty that I have... they have no idea what that means to me. For the money they send when I need help. For the cookies they bring over just because they love me, and I them. For the phone calls from across the country to let me know I am still in their thoughts. For the times when they tell me that they are thankful for me too. For the love and the laughs and the support... I am thankful for all of you.

I am thankful for health. For the health of my kids and myself and my friends. That those who are ailing still have life to cling to. Thankful for the hope that remains that one day they will be better.

I am thankful for laughter. Without it I would be lost.

I am thankful for words. That I can use them to cause others happiness.

I am thankful for life. I am thankful that you all are in it.

On that note, I wrote a poem that I will share here. I wrote this poem in the wee hours last night after my randomness, and I wrote for those who have lost. It might be a bit sad, and it makes me ache for those who have felt loss, especially recently. This is my gift to you. I hope that you have plenty to be thankful today and always. My love to you and yours, dear reader.

Dinner for Two
Her eyes sparkled with the gleam of candles
The scent of fresh roses in a vase upon the table before her
The happy pattern on the china a reminder that she was unhappy.

Her eyes glistened with wet tears
The scent of the salt like a sea in the air
The rain beating the panes a reminder that it all washes clean.

Her eyes take in the table setting across from her
The scent of a dinner gone cold and of wine-soaked promise broken
The darkened house a reminder of the darkness in her soul.

Her eyes see the iridescent shimmer of bubbles in the sink
The scent of lavender soap mixes sourly with the wine
The pruned wrinkles in her hands a reminder that she will age alone.

Her eyes ache from all of the tears she sheds
The scent of his cologne remains on the pillow next to her own
The clothes hanging in the closet a reminder that he will not return to wear them.

The phone call came just as the timer on the oven goes off.
"A horrific accident... nothing could be done..."
"You can't see his body until morning... try to get some sleep."
"If there's anything I can do..."
She drops the phone and it shatters as it hits the tile.

Her eyes see the casket lowered into the cold, wet ground
The scent of people as they hug her, all different and yet somehow the same
The dirt beneath her knees a reminder that the world remains below her feet.

Her eyes are weaker now than they once were, all those years ago
The scent of food cooking in the oven had taken her back to that place
The sound of the timer on the oven a reminder that her time, too, is limited.

Her eyes sparkle with the knowledge of a life well lived, even through hardships
The scent of the perfumed candles blending with the roasting turkey
The sight of the place settings at the table a reminder that life does go on.

Her eyes behold her grandchildren, their angel faces smiling up at her
The scent of their hair was sweet in her nostrils as she hugged them
The laughter erupting from their tiny bodies a reminder that we all laugh again.

Her eyes fall upon the man she had come to love after her heart was broken
The scent of his cologne was different, but so comforting
The roses set on her table a reminder that her lost love would always be there with her.

The man was gone from her life too soon, taken before she was prepared
"I will always love you, my sweet... I miss you always"
"I know that you want me to be happy... I will try to live again"
She finds another who loves her as much.
She will never feel the same love for another as she felt for this man,
But she did find love... and it was different... but wonderful.

Her eyes are closed as she remembers him
The scent of salt, again in the air
She will always remember that night... and how she missed her dinner for two.
 

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