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Which just about sums up what my mind happens to be at this very moment... but with a dash of hope, a pinch of luck, and at least three cups of bullshit, this might turn out to be a posting worth reading....

I think I better add another pinch of luck.

I find it hilarious in my own little way that perhaps one person aside from myself reads this *wave*. I can afford very little time for it, and it is usually something that I do before I go to bed (usually at some ridiculous hour of the night and tweaked out on plenty of caffeine). That said, it seems to have helped me ground myself a bit, and maybe helped me to center my thoughts as the days go on.

I dreamed last night that my boyfriend lived in a fish tank. At times the fish tank was huge and he was swimming around in it, helping the plant life and fish to breed and making himself useful. At other times the fish tank encompassed only his head so he looked like a head in a jar surrounded by small, strange, and flashing little fish. I really don't know what the hell that means aside from the fact that I did have a few adult beverages before I went to sleep. Freud would probably believe that it meant something like I want to have sex with a mermaid or something... and now I think of that, it doesn't sound half bad. (Oh god. Didn't realize how punny that was until it was already written out. Fuck it. It stays.)

So I was telling you about that fairy job I want for the summer. Yeah, I wanna talk some more about that. But before I do, I am going to post a picture.
The picture over here on the left is of my new friend Tegan. She (in this picture) is portraying a character she has named Nixie (a water fairy). Can you see why it is that I need this so badly? It is exactly the type of thing that I need to be doing. It is what I always dreamed of.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am no stranger to costume. I have designed, crafted, and become Seline, a snow leopard. I have been able to really and truly become her just as I would be able to really and truly become one of these lovely creatures. I think I can get the part because I truly have the part in my soul. That little fae thing. That bit of magic. Here's a picture of Seline that I love so you get a bit of an idea of what I am going on about.

The point I am trying to make here is that I am a right fit for the part. I have plans for this thing that make no sense to anyone but me, but I am willing to throw myself into it utterly. A dedication like that which I show my own children. I need this. And I intend to get it.